Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Oh my God.

Wooooo! Spring is here and the weather is finally starting to show it! Isn't it exciting. HOWEVER it also seems to be door knocking "hey, may we convert you to our religion???!!!" season.

So there I am, watching Bruno when all of a sudden "knock knock". Curious, I go to the door and open it a crack, and standing there are two respectable young men carrying bibles. I quickly add i'm sorry, i'm already a Christian.


If you have an imagination or are completely gullible, continue reading
---------------------If not, skip this paragraph----------------------


They then scream "EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" I dash backwards as I see the bible they were actually holding was a Qur'an (Muslim bible for you religiously incompetent) I glimpse up to see the beards rapidly grow and their nice moisturized hands turn into hideous claws with talons the size of butcher knives. I sprinted back to my Muslim defense closet and grabbed two vials of holy water, "BAM!" the sound of my mothers head exploding filled the house as one of the creatures used it's tongue to force pressure from her neck to the top of her head, blood and brain matter dripped mercilessly off the roof and walls, lathering the two creatures in my bloodline. I know if I do not kill them now they'll hunt me down forever.
 I cast a vial of holy water at one of them, the vial smashes on it's head and it's flesh starts to burn and decay. "POP"... that was the sound it made as it exploded everywhere, showering me in it's guts. Confident, I toss my last vial of holy water at the creature, however this one seems to have caught on, it catches my water and tosses it out the window. I stumble backwards as it's claws tear through  the walls towards me and it's acidic tongue slashing my face, I race into my room and climb aboard my pink unicorn and ride towards the rainbows in search of cover, the beast leaped after me, but with the combined power of myself and the unicorn we both shot super powered fairies and the beast was no more. I returned home and cleaned up the bloody gory mess.


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then I closed the door.

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